I'm in the dark place again.
Cold feeling in my chest.
No sleep or escape from thoughts.
Who is God.
I don't speak this language
I recoil from it because it comes at me aggressively
asking intimate questions with no need for answers.
Are you spending time with the Lord?
Are you spending time in the Word?
Because you know, that's how he talks to us.
This line of questioning is so intrusive and shaming.
I have a physical reaction
I lean back and want to run away.
And then that feeling of isolation grows.
when will i stop asking for what they cannot give?
We started in Memphis. It was crazy during the day, and crazier at night. I'd been looking forward to this trip for so long, and it was fantastic!
My husband's first mistake was playing "Walking In Memphis" for me before we hit the road. I proceeded to sing it multiple times a day, for the next six days. He loved it. This is where "my feet were walking ten feet off of Beale". Sorry y'all, get used to it.
I liked Beale even better at night. I sang karaoke for the first time after two shots and a plate of jalapeno wings. damn.
I felt so at home here. The Deep South is so laid back, and I never heard an angry word spoken. Buskers played and people danced. It smelled like barbecue, beer, smoke, and rain. If you've never been, please go. If you haven't been and you think you know how the South is, go and get rid of your misconceptions.
Day two, we visited the National Civil Rights Museum.
I think every American should make this trip at least once. I also think Dr. King would be heartbroken at the state of our nation today.
The room at The Lorraine Motel where Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was shot and killed.
Outside of the museum, Jacqueline Smith has been protesting for over twenty years. She believes that the museum is a disgraceful use of tax payer dollars and that Dr. King would have rather that money gone to help poor families in Memphis.
We walked across the street from the museum to devour mass quantities of ribs. Go to Texas for brisket, go to MEMPHIS for RIBS.
Back to Beale St. the next day. We also walked along the Mississippi near downtown. There had been severe thunderstorms a few days earlier and power was out to over 80,000 residents.
This right here....this part of the trip was pure joy. I felt like a little kid walking into Sun Studio.
Supposedly, Elvis used this mic.
Supposedly U2 used this drum kit.
Supposedly these guys were famous. ;-)
Seriously?? All four in one room!? Can you name them?
The studio is still in use, and they haven't upgraded or redone anything. It smelled like 1955.
Husband was determined to go to Graceland, and I was determined not to. I thought it was gross, honestly, to worship a man like that. But he convinced me to go, and it was every bit as bizarre as I'd imagined.
The living room
The kitchen. This room smelled like 1975. Look how ordinary it is! I like it.
This is the Jungle Room, and that's Lisa Marie's stuffed animal in the chair. It smelled like old shag carpet.
We left Memphis and drove into the Mississippi Delta and I marveled at the sights. It felt like a dream. Please, go sometime.
Just a few notes: 1. The Mississippi (spoken) accents are swirly and sugary.
2. The food is RICH.
3. The weather in June is insanely hot and HUMID.
This town was beautiful, intense, and haunted. There's so much grief and sadness here. While here, I stumbled upon Brandon Thibodeaux's photography. His images capture the Delta perfectly.
This was our last day in Mississippi. I hated to leave, but somehow felt relieved to have some distance from the intense emotions here. We stopped at this church to pay respects to Robert Johnson.
There is something incredibly powerful about the Delta. It seems stuck in the past. Maybe that's what feels so smothering and melancholy...no glimpse of the future. At the same time, it's beautiful. I will go back.
So here's the deal: My desktop is dying. It's old and won't run any editing software. Also, my film scanner died. So for the past year or so I've been shooting film but not scanning it (or developing it!). I bought this Lomo Smart Phone Scanner just to play with and see if it would produce decent images that I could post.
Here are my preliminary results:
There are so many things going on here....I'm using film AND developer that I've never used before, I'm using a "smart phone scanner" that is far inferior to a good film scanner. But this is temporary until I decide what new computer and film scanner I want.
IT FELT SO GOOD TO DEVELOP FILM AGAIN! (Why do I put off doing what is so rewarding and fulfilling?)