Thursday, December 18, 2014

pick something do-able

If I could ever look at a photo and see the symbolism in my life, now is that time.
It's unrelenting. I set up all of my darkroom equipment, and printed photos for four days. I worked during the day and after the kids were in bed. And I had a feeling of satisfaction, tinged with anger. Everything seems to be tinged with anger lately. It's as if I am doing things just so I can say "I did it". There's not a lot of personal satisfaction involved. It's just going through the motions. 

And photography is just lingering on the sidelines. I've drawn and painted. But still, nothing seems cathartic or relaxing. 

It seems that everywhere I look, I'm angry. But with what? With whom?

I suppose it's all part of the natural process. 

Denial and isolation 
Anger
Bargaining (how?)
Depression
Acceptance

i hope it doesn't last too long. 
hell, i'm even angry that i have to go through these steps. 
i'm angry about everything.

reason says: this is all part of life.
i will just focus on keeping my feet warm...that seems do-able.