Friday, January 13, 2017

Road Trip II

Remember the days when your chatty neighbor would have you over to the house to show you his vacation slides?...and then he'd spend thirty minutes fighting with his slide projector...and it would blow hot air and put off that dusty plastic-y smell?....let's do that. 

These are some of the photos I took on a recent road trip from Ft. Richardson (Jacksboro, TX) to Alamogordo, NM and back. Y'all squeeze onto the plastic-covered plaid couch. Get comfy. 

The building pictured above is the old hospital at Fort Richardson (US Army installation from 1867-1878).

Our guide told us that women were shorter back then, as this stove hit me about mid-thigh.

The pharmacy room was fascinating. The guide told us that although they could identify most common diseases back then, they rarely ever cured them. The medicines they concocted were just as likely to make the patient worse.

This was me marveling at the quality of light in this old building. I doubt the beautiful light was consolation for the hardships they endured...  :p   

There were two main rooms for injured and sick soldiers with twelve beds per room. 

This was the perfect ending to our day.

see above? This wide-openness is something that is so mysterious to me. I am filled with a sense of awe and emptiness, familiarity and isolation all at once...

From Fort Richardson we went on to the High Plains for Christmas. I'll write more about family later...or maybe not. I gained a lot of clarity on this trip, and gratitude. I'm so thankful for my friends. I have a wonderful group of people who keep me grounded. 

The day after Christmas we headed to Cloudcroft, New Mexico...where my grandparents had a cabin for over thirty years. There was just enough snow on the ground for the kids to have a snowball fight.

We camped in my pop-up and it was toasty warm at night! We had great camping neighbors who made the trip so much more fun.

We took a day trip to White Sands  . I've been a dozen times, but this place is so special to me. It's definitely one of my favorite places to photograph, and I did shoot a roll of 120 in my 1920's Voigtlander folding camera. 

Sometimes I wish I had a place like this to visit more often...just to be still and quiet. 

White Sands is located outside of Alamogordo, NM.
Clark Griswold has nothing on Alamogordo....

Ok. The last day of the trip we went to Carlsbad Caverns...yet another amazing National Park. Again, I'd been several times as a kid, but this time was even better. I was absolutely blown away by the beauty and majesty of these caverns. 

 It felt so good to experience so much natural beauty. I hope to make several more trips like this in the coming year. What about you? Been anywhere interesting lately? Had any epic adventures?

Can you believe it's 2017??!!

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Andrei Tarkovsky

I'm amazed by Andrei Tarkovsky's Polaroids. 

This blog post is a nice introduction to Tarkovsky and how he felt about his art.

I haven't seen any of his films...have you? What do you think? Do his Polaroids resonate with you?

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Remember my comment recently about how "some people show up well-dressed, five minutes early, and cheerful"?


I've envied her for years. I admit it.

A few weeks ago I was shopping when she bumped into me. 
She literally fell into my arms. 

She cried hard, telling me how out of control life desperate and hopeless she was. She said she'd lost herself 22 years ago. Twenty two years.

I just held on. And then I cried a few tears of conviction, for being judgmental and jealous, assuming that her life was perfect, when she was in such incredible pain. It really did look perfect from the outside. Seriously.

But as I walked away, I felt so...convicted. You know? When a life-lesson hits you right in the face? STOP ENVYING OTHERS.

It steals my gratitude and turns it into dissatisfaction. 
It creates intense, dangerous discontent.
And it's a LIE.

Everyone suffers.

some folks just work a lot harder at hiding it.
and that in itself is a form of suffering, I suppose.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Moral question of the day.

Let's say that you have a chronic condition, or struggle, or burden. (Think medical, psychological, mental, emotional, financial, etc.)  If you could pass it off to another person, anonymously, would you? By this, I mean that you cannot choose who receives your condition. It may be your best friend, a total stranger, or your worst enemy. (If you have a lot of enemies, let's talk about that later.)

So. Would you pass it on?

Monday, September 19, 2016

Harmon Direct Positive Paper Fiber Based - and how it relates to life.

this life can be fun. 
if i'm in an adventurous mood, willing to deal with it's harsh contrasts.
but when i'm tired
and out of ideas
and the people i love
don't love themselves
it's not fun
i feel like a new parent
when every situation is a first
and my stomach is nervous 
when it hits me
just how little control i have

so i bought this new paper, and i keep buying film. and i don't even know why. i guess it's because i find it fun. and it's not hurting me or anyone else. and maybe that's the best we can hope for in life. find a hobby or group of people that bring you closer to peace, and stick with it. you can't change other people or control them. it's enough to take care of yourself.

i'm trying to make sense without telling other people's stories. 

i think that the wise thing to do is: take care of myself DAILY. show how i feel and be honest. show up. i'm here. i'm praying. 
is it possible that things really ARE this complicated, and i just don't want to admit it? or is it a matter of perception? (yes)

i've lost a few friendships in the past 2 years. mostly because i don't have the patience anymore to hear about minutia. "i hate my job" THEN QUIT. "i miss my ex" GET OVER IT. HE LEFT YOU. "i need therapy" THEN GO. you know? i have no patience for inaction. DO SOMETHING. weed them out. make new friends. get some perspective. and then...i don't feel free to talk about my life. because...i get silence in return. i know i'm not exceptional in any way. (or we all are...whichever). but who cares about the rising cost of insulin and how dangerously low she went last night when we could spend an hour complaining about your sex life. (hint: nobody cares) oh, and i think that those all-too-often moments of terror are cumulative. they do something to a person. (i don't want to be so jaded. maybe i needed a little jadedness but not this much.)

the thing about isolation is begets isolation. 

my prayer is for a right perspective. i know i'm off at this point.