Thursday, January 30, 2014

Yesterday I experienced moments of joy. Maybe I need to pay better attention because it was such a surprise, it made me wonder how often I actually experience joy. I was at the grocery store with my son and it felt so good to be able to truly pay attention to him and that moment. As I was paying for the groceries I noticed a father with his toddler daughter. He was taller than average and very well dressed and she barely made it to his knees. He  was busy looking for something on the top shelf while she was picking out cereal on the bottom shelf.

she fascinated me. She was so careful in picking up the box of cereal and holding up to her daddy for approval. Then she would turn around and put it back on the shelf. I watched the way she walked with the box so carefully and the way she turned and called his name. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.I couldn't understand why my reaction was so strong to this little girl but now I think that just by being a witness to a precious child I got a glimpse of God's beauty. I wonder, is it possible to be present for these moments of beauty to the full extent? Is it possible to completely realize the goodness of another person and simultaneously feel gratitude that such beauty exist? the closest example I can come up with would be an encounter with God in my personal life. As wonder-ful as a private experience is, I think it might be even better to experience God's beauty in others. It has a renewing effect on my soul.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Abandoned Barn
Looks like this smart phone camera has light leaks!

I've decided to do project 365.
It's an exercise to help me look around more. These images might be dull at times, but so is life.

Sunday, January 26, 2014

I want to dream more. I need to dream more.

(I started to put the camera and settings, but that is so boring.)

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

I love this photo. This is one photo that might be better than the actual moment. I have noticed that, of my photos, I tend to favor the ones that nobody else notices. 

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

I saw him walking across the square from me and I ran up to him and asked for his photo. He seemed hesitant and laughed, but then agreed. He asked me why I wanted his photo and I told him, "because you're dressed really sharp and I like it. It's rare."

 (modified) Holga, Kodak TriX 400 iso film developed by local lab. Thanks for the scratch. :P

Check out Humans of New York. I think you'll like it.

This is beautiful. I've seen it happen several times.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

I hummed the Dies Irae while you played the Hallelujah
Leave me to myself, oh lead me to my cell.

Unable to drive after my foot surgery, I rode the bus for several weeks. One day I tossed a book into my purse and hurried out the door to catch the bus. When we made our first stop, we picked up this young man, who was very....very talkative. The bus driver made a comment to me about how much this kid liked to talk just before letting him on the bus. Well, I didn't mind. He asked me where I was going. He asked me what happened to my foot. He asked me what I was reading. At that point, I gave him my book. It was written by Henri Nouwen, and was a gift from my friend. I let him keep the book, and he seemed happy. Then I asked if I could take his photo. He was suspicious and asked me why. I said, "Because I like to take pictures". He smiled for the camera.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

"Thus it s proper to say that every duty is essentially duty to God but if no more can be said than this then it is also said that I actually have no duty to God. [...] For example, it is a duty to love one's neighbor. It is duty by being traced back to God, but in the duty I enter into relation not to God, but to the neighbor I love. If [...] I then say it is my duty to love God, I am actually pronouncing only a tautology, inasmuch as "God" in a totally abstract sense is here understood as the divine - that is, the universal, that is , the duty." Kierkegaard,  Fear and Trembling, p. 68

"Apart from good life-conduct, anything which the human being supposes that he can do to become well-pleasing to God is mere religious delusion and counterfeit service to God" Religion within the Boundaries of Mere Reason, Kant, 6:171

The photo and the quotes have no connection, that I know of. (Actually, that's not entirely true. The connection is that I participate in a process that brings me great joy - photography. In doing so, I come closer to the true me, the most basic parts of myself that were there in the beginning. This creates a sense of wonder and truthfulness. It's an inside job, and it grows when tended to. In tending to this part of myself, I think I am coming closer, or glimpsing an aspect of God. In doing so, I am able to love others because I am able to see the beauty in them that I see in this process and in myself. So, what some may see as a selfish or self-centered activity, I see as a way to inch toward God and experience wonder and truth. In doing this I am better able to give of myself.)

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Polaroid 250 Land Camera
Fuji 100c film
150 ISO (technically 100)
exposure adjusted to lightest setting
Location: somewhere on the long, flat drive  from old home to new home.

Fuji has discontinued their 3000fp film (black and white).
It was SO easy to use and super sharp. Their mistake, I say.
Anyway, I will not let this deter me in my love affair with this Polaroid camera.
I will continue on with COLOR film. The ASA is extremely low, so everything
must be in full sunlight. It's alright...I could use a little sun.

p.s. I've been thinking lately about what it means to be original. Oddly, it seems to me
that it takes a whole  lot of emulating others before one can find her own voice.

I was completely lost when I took this photo, not in a geographical kind of way.

Minolta Maxxum 7000
 Fuji 35 mm film
 probably auto settings
 on the way to my grandfather's funeral