People and Events :: Strangers that I could probably befriend, easily.
(Polaroid Land 250, Fuji 100FP)
She had just gotten off work and was waiting for her ride. She looked a little tired and blue. I asked her for a photo, and she was doubtful. I told her that I liked her look. She cheered up and said I made her day, just as her El Camino pulled up.
(I think we could be friends.)
Instax Wide.
No, I don't think I could easily befriend these two. I was actually scared of them.
Polaroid 250, Fuji 100FP
Oktoberfest 2017. I could EASILY hang with them...for about 4 hours.
This year has been a steady bobbing...going up for a gasp of air, then sinking down through the layers of warm and cold...back up to the top for air. It's the in between place. No longer really young, not yet old. Frustrated that the lessons learned don't seem to provide that soothing wisdom I hoped they would. Those hard-earned experiences are always there, yet I seem short of the calm and clarity to help me through the shit. I'm an in-between Christian, too. Not fully...anything. I've forgotten my Bible lessons, and I can hardly relate to the women around me who are neck-deep in church and "fellowship". (that sentence sounds hateful, but it's not meant to be. it's because i just can't relate...) There's something there that I can't articulate, something beyond words, that terrifies me and makes me lonelier than being alone. I honestly can't explain it. All I know is that the people who touch my heart in the most direct, no-bullshit way are the ones who are unafraid to share their good and their bad. They no longer hide the dark parts of themselves from me, and for that I am grateful. It has saved me more than once. Because who can relate to a half-person? Who can survive that kind of loneliness?
So I pray...for deep, meaningful friendships during this ridiculous time of busy-ness. I do believe that God lives in those heart to heart friendships. He works there. May my eyes be open and my heart be willing.
Comments
(Deuteronomy 15:7-11)
1Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.
2So when you give to the needy, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be praised by men. Truly I tell you, they already have their reward. 3But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
The Lord's Prayer
(Luke 11:1-4)
5And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. Truly I tell you, they already have their reward. 6But when you pray, go into your inner room, shut your door, and pray to your Father, who is unseen. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Not bad.
they were having so much fun. I don't doubt they would've let me tag along. But yeah, 4 hours would be all I could handle. It's a good thing that I've embraced moderation. ;-)