I'm cranky.

 My family says I'm cranky lately, and that I can't take a joke. It's true.


So I'll go ahead and document right here, a list of things that piss me off. Maybe if we read this together, down the road, we'll get a laugh out of it.

I'm going to include: words, phrases, behaviors, and trends. And anything else I think of. I wouldn't want to leave any annoying thing out.

1. Addressing a group as "Hive-mind" (seen on Facebook, usually a millennial addressing a group, looking for advice or information that they could easily Google on their own).

2. "And...Go!" (Used by the same people who address a group as "hive-mind". This is the person's way of telling the group to do their research for them). 

3. The use of "Literally". Where did we drop the ball in teaching a generation of children the definition of this word?

4. NPR correspondents who use vocal fry, end every sentence as if it's a question, or sound like they are in junior high. I miss higher standards in journalism.

5. Starting any social media post with "Just so I am 100% clear...". Get over yourself.

6. The constant need to label oneself.

7. Summer time in Texas

8. This stupid trend of "farmhouse living". My grandparents lived in a farmhouse. It had green shag carpet, swamp coolers, and ceramic wall heaters. Y'all piss me off...

9. Same people, calling themselves "homesteaders". Shut up about it. You live in a sub-division.

10. Christians who support immoral political candidates because they lack the moral fortitude to go against the grain. 

11. Liberals (or whatever they call themselves) that claim to "be the change they want to see", but mock anyone who disagrees with them. 

12. Children who lie about doing their chores.

13. People who assume all Southerners are ignorant. 

14. Don Lemon. 

15. Myself for being an ass.

14. Potholes

15. Humidity

16. Bad music

17. Dogs barking late at night

18. Rap music

19. There's more, I know it... But I'm having trouble remembering.

20. My bad memory.

21. The mistakes I made in my 30's.

22. When people in their 30's and 40's call themselves "old". Shut up...

23. Stupidly large pick up trucks with train horns on them. That's illegal...

24. Truck balls. Y'all need your asses kicked.



That's all I can think of, but there's so much more.

I'll add to the list as needed.




Comments

nicrap said…
I am LITERALLY laughing my ass off. He he.;)
Jen said…
Don't make me figuratively beat you up. 😬
nicrap said…
She deleted the original comment. Craven! :p
Jen said…
I thought of something better! 🤓
Jen said…
I don't understand your fascination with this guy. I feel like I'm missing something.
nicrap said…
Which guy? Let me in as well.
Jen said…
FJ likes this youtube guy called PoGo. Maybe I'll add PoGo to the list...
Hey, y'all feel free to add to the list. Nikhil, sore butt? Add it!
Jen said…
I'm adding Elton John's song "Honkey Cat". It's a good song, but horrible title.
nicrap said…
Sore butt? Yes. Cranky? No.
But let me add to the list, anyway.

1. People making lists. :p
2. people who want to show me Whatsapp videos.
nicrap said…
3. People who add to other people's lists.
Jen said…
Lol. People and their lists! 🙄
Z said…
You might be the smartest, most clever blogger ever.
GREAT list. GREAT. Miss you !!
Jen said…
Miss you too, Z! Feel free to add to the list. Lol
Jen said…
Nice! I find those people annoying, too.
🤓
Jen said…
Okay this is a big one. Nearly big enough for it's own post.

Saying "Be safe" when ending a conversation.

Marco Werman ends his NPR show with "Be safe out there".

Huh??? Were we all cozy and safe before covid? It's it really the biggest threat we're facing??

No, I won't be safe. I'll keep driving, eating bacon, and talking to strangers. I'm not interested in staying safe.

:: Crank over::
nicrap said…
people making lists; people adding to the lists; smartest person in the room. :p
Jen said…
I'm adding Nikhil to the list...
nicrap said…
Backstabbers! Conspirators! Judases! Anti-Achateses! Brutuses!
...so how's the view from under the bus?
Jen said…
I like conspirators. Lol
While you're down there, best avoid the tires when the bus starts moving again. ;)
nicrap said…
His kindness would move me to tears, had it not been that he pushed me under the bus in the first place.
nicrap said…
Just kill me already! :)
nicrap said…
Why does he even know all this trivia?
Jen said…
The same reason he like PoGo. Hehehe! (I actually don't know what that means).
You just need to spend WAY too much time on YouTube.

....and yes, I do have a very short attention span, love homages, and crave novelty, even if it means wading through countless hours of bad/boring material to find something worthwhile.
nicrap said…
LOL. I don't know which one was funnier. I think the "bad version".
Jen said…
Lol I love these videos. I must admit I don't spend a lot of time on YouTube. FJ I think it's funny that because of you, I like sea shanties. And I had a long conversation with my girlfriend today about Phantom of the Paradise. She couldn't believe I had heard of it. (Only because you posted about it a while back...) We actually ended up watching it!

As for me, I'm trying to spend less time online lately... Unsuccessfully. Lol
Jen said…
Edit: I had a long conversation with a girlfriend. "My girlfriend" has a different ring to it. Lol
nicrap said…
Did you either of you watch Parasite?
ps - My girlfriend is my dog, Charlotte. ;)
Did you like Parasite? It's meta-narrative got all the attention, but that was just a hook for the "critics" (IMO). I preferred its' "lyrical" components, as opposed to the more "epic" and New Marxian meta of "class warfare". A movie about how certain people "smell" would have been just as interesting.
Jen said…
I did see it, but I can't remember the details. 🙄
nicrap said…
...and do rich people smell funny?

I liked that. Sumps up the film fine.

Yes, i liked it too. Thought i thought it could have ended with the rampage, that seemed to me to be the proper ending.

Like i was telling my sis-in-law every good story follows a logic, and everything in that story (film) was leading up to that point (of the rampage). After that point it's the writer holding the reader hand and telling him how he should read his story.

Yes, it was very lyrical. I am glad you liked it too.

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