Thursday, November 3, 2016

Remember my comment recently about how "some people show up well-dressed, five minutes early, and cheerful"?


I've envied her for years. I admit it.

A few weeks ago I was shopping when she bumped into me. 
She literally fell into my arms. 

She cried hard, telling me how out of control life desperate and hopeless she was. She said she'd lost herself 22 years ago. Twenty two years.

I just held on. And then I cried a few tears of conviction, for being judgmental and jealous, assuming that her life was perfect, when she was in such incredible pain. It really did look perfect from the outside. Seriously.

But as I walked away, I felt so...convicted. You know? When a life-lesson hits you right in the face? STOP ENVYING OTHERS.

It steals my gratitude and turns it into dissatisfaction. 
It creates intense, dangerous discontent.
And it's a LIE.

Everyone suffers.

some folks just work a lot harder at hiding it.
and that in itself is a form of suffering, I suppose.


Ducky's here said...

I often think that life is organized around loss and regret.

It helps when you accept it.

James Harr said...

Very keen observation there. Everyone suffers. Everyone is suffering. People may suffer more or less than we do, but that is sort of irrelevant. Pain is pain and anguish is anguish. The areas of life in which we don't suffer are areas in which we can help our loved ones (or strangers) to ease their pain. Charity, grace and mercy are virtues not just for the 'perfect people' who have it all together. They are things we all must give and receive. I'm glad you were there for your friend, to show her grace and compassion.

Jen Brimmage said...

I agree, Ducky. I think that suffering can bring about beautiful changes.

Jen Brimmage said...

Hi James, and welcome! I think what touched me is how vulnerable she was at that time...with no regard for appearances. I appreciated her willingness to drop her guard, and I realized how very judgmental I had been. It's a cycle of jealousy -> guardedness -> and then feeling isolated.

She's the one who gave me love, in my opinion. She trusted me, and that meant a LOT to me.

Ducky's here said...

Wishing you a happy Thanksgiving, Jen.

Jen Brimmage said...

Thank you Ducky. Happy Thanksgiving to you too.