Saturday, July 23, 2016

forgive

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verb  for·give \fər-ˈgiv, fȯr-\
Popularity: Top 10% of words

Simple Definition of forgive

  • : to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong) : to stop blaming (someone)
  • : to stop feeling anger about (something) : to forgive someone for (something wrong)
  • : to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed)



  • Forgiveness has always been an interesting topic to me. When I was younger, I saw forgiveness as a characteristic of highly "spiritual" people. I saw it as a choice that one made because they could. Now I see forgiveness as a necessity. When the pain of holding a grudge becomes harder to bear than the humility it takes to forgive, then I must forgive. Humility isn't the right word. What word describes the ability to forgive? Actually, humility might be the right word. Because....who am I to NOT forgive? 



14 comments:

Fly Over American said...

Forgive and forget? One step further up the "forgiveness" scale...

nicrap said...

Forgiveness ought not to be seen as the way round the task of truth-telling ... rather as the necessary first step.

Jen Brimmage said...

I could've sworn I posted a comment yesterday. :/

FOA, I see them as one and the same. If I truly forgive, I will have no interest in revisiting the memory. How else could a person force herself to forget?

Yes, I agree with you. In fact, I suppose that if you aren't willing to forget, you're not really forgiving in the first place.

Jen Brimmage said...

Forgiveness ought not to be seen as the way round the task of truth-telling ... rather as the necessary first step
--------

A first step? You're better than I am! :-)
I usually go through several steps...before I am ready to forgive. And I'll also admit that it depends no who the person is. I'm much quicker to forgive my immediate family than someone I may never see again. But the burden is heavy no matter who is is. I think the key lies in remembering..."who am I NOT to forgive?"

when i keep that in mind, it puts everything in perspective, and it takes on grace...which i am always needing more of...

the more i talk about it the more i realize it's not really me doing it. :p funny how that works!

nicrap said...

A first step? You're better than I am!

So do you think that forgiving someone exempts you from telling him that he was wrong? Rather, don't you think that only once you have forgiven that you can perform this task (of truth-telling) properly, having restrained your anger and becoming once more your own master ... Whereas, a person who has not forgiven and is still in grip of his anger will only rage and rant and make things worse?

nicrap said...

IMO, forgiveness for the sake of forgiveness is mere selfishness, and makes one complicit in the 'wrong' committed. However, only a person who can readily forgive, and is above pride and such every day opinions and conventions as "humiliation", "dishonor", etc. — for what are dishonor and humiliation? really nothing — only such a person, i repeat, can make the other person see the 'wrong' committed and take back the control of the situation ... this i believe was the idea, at any rate, whether you turned the other cheek, or, like Diogenes, pissed at the guests when called a dog — to exercise your sovereignty, first of all on yourself then on others (with a view towards "care", of course.)

Jen Brimmage said...

Hmm. I'm a mere human, my friend. There's no need to make one see the wrong committed. We aren't that ignorant.

Jen Brimmage said...

And it's not about dishonor. It was hurting someone because he could. Pure cruelty.and I forgive because my anger hurts me.....not him.

Jen Brimmage said...

But it's done with. :)

nicrap said...

I really am an idiot. :(

Jen Brimmage said...

No you're not. :p

nicrap said...

No, i am. I insist! :p

Thersites said...

No, I insist. lol! :P

We should therefore accept the paradox that, in order really to forget an event, we must first summon up the strength to remember it properly. In order to account for this paradox, we should bear in mind that the opposite of existence is not non-existence, but insistence: that which does not exist, continues to insist, striving towards existence.

- Zizek, "Welcome to the Desert of the Real"

Jen Brimmage said...

oh good grief! lol

funny that you should comment on this again. and remind me to forget. :p