I think that, if we take action before the g-forces get too strong and start pulling us down, we can avoid circling the drain
Sometimes the struggle against gravity can be intense, and it can take up a lot of my time
but here i am anyway

i know that my circumstances aren't original
but they are to me (first time for everything)
and when i am faced with something new, that demands my attention, it's hard to find a different angle on it...other than my default (not sure what that is)

i am not a martyr
i don't suffer more than anyone else
i want to choose life in every situation

as far as i can tell, life begins to lose it's purpose when i stop serving others
that's not to say that taking care of myself is unimportant (it is most important)
but to be only self-serving isn't a good thing
taking care of oneself and being self-serving are different (obviously)

i don't focus much on what is going on in the world at large anymore
not because i don't care
but i found that it didn't help
it kept me feeling impotent
and i'm not
the world exists in my home, inside of me
and if i don't tend to those worlds, it doesn't matter what i do for the world outside

plus, looking at what's wrong with others is the easiest way to avoid looking at myself

there it is

it's not apathy
it's the courage to deal with myself (even if i don't know what to do next)
i guess this is the in-between place