Saturday, May 1, 2021

Things lately

 The enemy is rarely who I think it is. It's nearly always me.

I want to be a better person, but not by anyone else's standards but my own. 

I want to possess a calm that is deep and abiding, and the past year has shown me just how easily I am shaken. 

At 46 I feel like I am just beginning to have a grip on my thoughts. I was going to write "and beliefs", but that's not true. I am still changing, but I feel less pressure to identify or label myself. 

I want to know my friends more and experience deep joy with them. I want to love people more.

I want to be less guarded, but not because I trust everyone, because I trust myself.

I want to see beauty all around me, in moments and people.

I want to feel content and be okay with stillness.

I want to embrace challenges and finish the goals I set.

That's me, looking at 47.

Sunday, April 4, 2021



I try to sing this song
I, I try to stand up
But I can't find my feet
I try, I try to speak up
But only in you I'm complete
Gloria, in te domine
Gloria, exultate
Gloria, gloria
Oh Lord, loosen my lips
I try to sing this song
I, I try to get in
But I can't find the door
The door is open
You're standing there
You let me in
Gloria, in te domine
Gloria, exultate
Oh Lord, if I had anything
Anything at all
I'd give it to you…

Wednesday, March 3, 2021

I'm cranky.

 My family says I'm cranky lately, and that I can't take a joke. It's true.

So I'll go ahead and document right here, a list of things that piss me off. Maybe if we read this together, down the road, we'll get a laugh out of it.

I'm going to include: words, phrases, behaviors, and trends. And anything else I think of. I wouldn't want to leave any annoying thing out.

1. Addressing a group as "Hive-mind" (seen on Facebook, usually a millennial addressing a group, looking for advice or information that they could easily Google on their own).

2. "And...Go!" (Used by the same people who address a group as "hive-mind". This is the person's way of telling the group to do their research for them). 

3. The use of "Literally". Where did we drop the ball in teaching a generation of children the definition of this word?

4. NPR correspondents who use vocal fry, end every sentence as if it's a question, or sound like they are in junior high. I miss higher standards in journalism.

5. Starting any social media post with "Just so I am 100% clear...". Get over yourself.

6. The constant need to label oneself.

7. Summer time in Texas

8. This stupid trend of "farmhouse living". My grandparents lived in a farmhouse. It had green shag carpet, swamp coolers, and ceramic wall heaters. Y'all piss me off...

9. Same people, calling themselves "homesteaders". Shut up about it. You live in a sub-division.

10. Christians who support immoral political candidates because they lack the moral fortitude to go against the grain. 

11. Liberals (or whatever they call themselves) that claim to "be the change they want to see", but mock anyone who disagrees with them. 

12. Children who lie about doing their chores.

13. People who assume all Southerners are ignorant. 

14. Don Lemon. 

15. Myself for being an ass.

14. Potholes

15. Humidity

16. Bad music

17. Dogs barking late at night

18. Rap music

19. There's more, I know it... But I'm having trouble remembering.

20. My bad memory.

21. The mistakes I made in my 30's.

22. When people in their 30's and 40's call themselves "old". Shut up...

23. Stupidly large pick up trucks with train horns on them. That's illegal...

24. Truck balls. Y'all need your asses kicked.

That's all I can think of, but there's so much more.

I'll add to the list as needed.

Monday, February 15, 2021


What's your purpose in life?

What happens when you age out of a career? Your kids grow up and leave? 

What's your purpose?

Tuesday, January 12, 2021


I'm lying here just breathing, and I can't get over how amazing it is that we get to experience this world. We get to see sunsets and smell the rain. We get to hold babies and lie on quilts under tall trees.

How amazing.

We get sick and experience healing, however that looks. We hug our friends hear them laugh. We fall in love...

We experience joy and sorrow all in one day. We taste chocolate and move our bodies to music.
How amazing...

This is what I was missing, this awareness. I want to notice the fog and light and sounds around me. I want to soak in the love offered to me. I want to always notice these things, even if it hurts sometimes.